Snippet from my novel "Sapphic Love"

She pulled away from me and started unzipping my shirt. “Go ahead and take your bath and relax baby, I have a special night planned for you.”  She finished unzipping my shirt and pulled it off revealing my bra, she told me to turn around, and as she unsnapped my bra she placed tiny kisses along my collarbone.  She slid down my body while pulling my pants with her.  Then she stood up and turned me around to face her.  “You are so beautiful Nevaeh; just having you close to me turns me on.”  She then slid down the front of my body, and when she got eye level with my pussy, she looked up at me and smiled, then she started licking her lips, and I felt my womanhood throbbing.  She reached up and started tugging my panties down, while never taking her eyes off mine.  Once they were down and off, she stood up and looked at me.  “I think you need to go ahead and get in the bath now.”  She backed up away from me and walked out the door.  I walked over to the tub and slid in, the water was still warm.  She must have gone in there and ran the water right before I woke up.    It was so warm, and it smelled of Jasmine, she was starting to know me very well, and as I slid down into the water I felt all my muscles start to relax.  I thought about the day’s events and smiled to myself.  She was a very sweet and caring woman.  I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t been snatched up by now.  The romantic settings she had set for me on those two occasions were just remarkable.  The wetness that appeared in between my thighs when were together was unbelievable.  I hurried and finished bathing.  I was eager to see what she had in store for us tonight.  The Jasmine oil that was in the water had my skin feeling so soft and smooth.  Even after I’d gotten out of the water and dried off, my skin still felt as if I were in the tub.  Once I finished drying off I realized that I had nothing to put on.  I wrapped the towel around my body and proceeded to walk out the door.  The room was dark accept for the candles that were lit.  I looked around only to find her standing by the stereo.  That’s when I realized there was music playing. “On top of me” by Tyrese was on so I could tell where this night was going.  She looked up, saw me and smiled.  God she was so sexy    The man upstairs broke the mold when he made her.  She walked over to me, and from the way she was looking it felt as though she could see right through the towel.  I felt like my body was being caressed and she hadn’t even touched me yet.  She stood before me and just when I thought she was ready to rip the towel away from my body, she grabbed my hand and led me to the bed.  There she sat me down and told me to remove the towel and lie on my stomach.  So there I am lying on her bed completely naked, on my stomach not knowing what to expect.  But I was prepared for anything she was willing to give me.  That’s when I felt her warm hands start to glide over my body, and whatever it was she was using was getting hotter and hotter with each movement.  I felt all of my muscles starting to relax and just let myself relish in the feeling of her hands all over me.


“How does that feel Nevaeh?”  Her lips were right at my ear.


All I could muster out was a moan.  That’s when I heard her chuckle.  Goodness her laugh was sexy.  Chills ran up and down my spine from the sound.


That’s when I felt her stop and get out of the bed. “Roll over for me baby.”  This wasn’t a question that was being asked, it was a demand, and just hearing her take that tone of voice with me made my pussy start to throb.  So I did what she told me to do but as I rolled over I closed my eyes, it was something about looking a lover in the eyes during anything sexual.  I could never do it, I felt vulnerable I guess.  So I laid there with my arms at each side and my legs slightly parted.  I felt her start at my feet as she worked her way up.  Massaging each thigh, my hips, my breasts, I was so turned on at this point that I felt the wetness starting to trickle down my thighs.  When her lips touched my neck all I could do was gasp.  I felt her teeth bite down and my hands automatically went to her back.  She let her tongue guide the way as she moved down my body, stopping at each breast to tease my nipples.  I felt myself tensing up and that’s when she stopped.


“Don’t tense up baby, you have to relax.  You will never know the true feeling of pleasure if you don’t learn to relax.  I noticed that the other night.  Just relax, clear your mind.”  As Chance finished talking her tongue found my left nipple and my body jerked from the feeling.  I was really trying to relax myself like she said, and it posed to be harder than what I thought it would be.  She let her tongue trail down my stomach until she was at my inner thigh.  When I felt her tongue flick my clit I almost jumped off the bed.  She had mastered eating my pussy and had made it an art.  After only a few minutes I felt my orgasm start to build up and I knew it would be over soon.  Seconds later I felt myself start to cum in her mouth and she was there not letting one drop get past her.  That’s when I felt her start to slide up my body, until she was over me looking me in the eyes.


“I want to try something with you tonight Nevaeh.” She whispered in my ear.


I looked up at her and as I opened my mouth to speak, her lips took mine.  The kiss was full of passion and urgency.  As she broke the kiss, I could barely even speak.  “What is it that you want to try?”


She didn’t say anything, but she grabbed my hand and guided it toward her pants.  She placed my hand on her crotch and as I realized what it was I snatched my hand back.  As I looked up at her she started chuckling.  I had never been up close and personal with a strap or dildo or whatever you call it before.  I had seen them when I went to the sex store but usually I just passed that section.  I had dealt with penetration from men but it had never done anything for me.  I mean it felt good sometimes but as far as having an orgasm it wasn’t happening.  So when I did buy toys, I bought a bullet; a little egg shaped toy that vibrates and is used for your clit.  Clitoral stimulation was the only thing that ever got me off, so I just always went for what I knew.  So I was interested in what this was going to be like.


“Just lay back and relax, let yourself go, and don’t tense up.”  She gently pushed me back on the bed, and I let my eyes close.  I felt the bed moving as she shifted.  Then she moved in between my legs, then I felt her lips on my nipples again, and a gasp slipped past my lips.  I felt her hands massaging my hips, and thighs, and I felt my body starting to relax.  Then I felt her lips on my neck, she knew that was my spot.  I wrapped my arms around her and spread my legs a little wider.  That’s when I felt the head of the strap at the opening of my pussy.  I sucked in a breath, and I know she felt my body tense.  As I felt her start to slide it in, I realized how tight I was, or it could have been how big the strap was, or both.  But I felt myself being stretched open, and I couldn’t stifle the moan that broke from my lips.  I felt her going deeper and deeper into me, and my nails dug into her back.  I heard her suck in her breath.  But it didn’t stop her, once all of it was in me; I felt her start to move her hips.  Penetration had never felt this good before.


 “Wrap your legs around me baby.”  I couldn’t help but do as she asked, I felt as if I was in a trance.  The strokes started off short and quick, and then they started getting longer and deeper.  I felt as if I were losing control of my body.  “Do you like it baby?” Chance whispered.


“Yes ” I panted.


“Does it feel good?”

“Yes ” I started feeling this tingling sensation, and with every stroke Chance took it got stronger and stronger.


“Tell me how good it feels.”


All I could do was bite my lip.  I couldn’t give in and I felt as if I was losing it.  That’s when I felt her pull back, and before I could do anything she was slamming into me.


“Chance ” I felt every last inch of her inside of me.  It felt as if she was in my stomach, but it was so pleasurable.


“Do as I say or you’ll keep feeling that, unless you like it.”


I couldn’t let her know that I enjoyed it, or I knew she would stop doing it.  But I now knew that to get her to do that again all I had to do was not do what she said to.  I felt her pull back, and I got excited thinking she was going for it again, but this time she pulled the strap completely out of me.  My eyes opened and I looked at her.  But she just winked at me.


“Roll over.”  Was all she said one simple command.


I rolled over onto my stomach and got into the doggy-style position.  I felt her position herself behind me.  She placed her hands on my ass and just caressed it.  Then I felt her spread my ass cheeks apart, and I felt the strap at my pussy once again.  She took one of her hands and slid it up my back, and I felt her pressing down.  I lowered myself until my arms were crossed and I laid my head on them.  Apparently that was what she wanted because her hand slid back down my back until she was spreading my ass again.  Then she was inside of me.  With one swift move she had embedded the entire strap into me once again.



“Oh my God ”  I screamed as waves of pleasure washed over my body.


Chance chuckled. “God doesn’t have anything to do with it baby, just me and 10 inches.”


She was so cocky, but it was sexy, and it actually turned me on.  I was still trying to get used to how large her strap was, she had started grabbing my hips and slamming me back against her as she came forward.


“Oh Shit ” I couldn’t hold it in anymore, she felt so good.  I started to feel a throbbing sensation beginning in my pussy.  This could not be happening, that feeling was similar to the feeling I had felt the first night we were together.  I had never cum from penetration before.  I started tensing up and she knew what was happening right away.


“Let it go, don’t hold back anything.”  Chance said as she started massaging my back.


I threw my head back and let out one of the loudest moans I had ever made.


“That’s right baby let go.  I want it all.  Cum for me baby, cum for me.”  Chance had started deepening her strokes.  That’s when I felt both of her hands come down hard on my ass.


“Chance ”  Even though it stung a little the pleasure was intense.  She started rotating her hips around, and that’s when she hit a spot inside of me that I didn’t even know I had.  I jumped forward, but she grabbed me and yanked me back against her.


“No running baby, just take it.”  Apparently she knew she had found my spot because she positioned herself so she could focus on that one spot. I felt myself slipping but every time I dropped down a bit she lifted me back up.  The sensations going through my body were getting stronger and stronger and her strokes were getting faster and harder.  I felt as if I wouldn’t have any walls left after this, but that’s when I started feeling a warm sensation coming over my whole body, my legs started shaking and I couldn’t control it any longer.

“Oh my God Chaaaaaance ”  The heat that surrounded my body felt so wonderful, and I could literally feel cum running out of me.  I couldn’t hold my body up any more, and Chance didn’t pull me back up this time. She slid out and lay next to me.  I turned over onto my side and laid on her as she wrapped her arms around me and started kissing my neck.  “I’ve never felt anything like that before.”  I whispered.



“That was the first, but it won’t be the last baby, I can promise you that.”  That was the last thing I heard before I drifted off to sleep, needless to say with a smile on my face.

Manic Thoughts

Sometimes I admit that I let my mind get away from me, maybe it comes from having a vivid imagination.  But I don’t know at points it becomes a bit to much. Thoughts pile on top of more thoughts it gets to a point where it becomes overwhelming.  But how does one shut their mind off?  That’s just it , you cant.  So you are forced to suffer the repercussions of having a mind that works overtime.  How long will it take? When will it happen? What should I do when it does happen? How should I handle the situation? How will I feel when I find out? My mind just wont stop, I don’t even think it stops in my sleep, my thoughts turn into dreams that haunt my every sleeping moment.  Nevertheless I shall prosper I shall manage to find some way to make it through my thoughts. I sometimes wish there was a switch that with the flick of the wrist I could soothe my overworked mind.  I let my thoughts pile onto the paper instead of just letting them build up.  But tell me how , just how is this supposed to calm my mind?  How is the mere act of writing my thought onto paper supposed to ease my mind? Now not only are the thoughts in my head but now on paper for me to see and reread.  it’s a never ending circle, maybe more like a tornado.  Why wasn’t I anchored down, so that I may have at least been a survivor of a turbulent mind.  Things change,  Life changes, People Change, nothing stays the same. It is the world we live in, nothing but reprocessed thought to move onto to the next act of your life. I don’t know just how long I can go through the tremors of my mind, I’m putting forth my best efforts to steadfast.  You cannot move a mountain, but yet one can be blown up.  No comfort in knowing the reality of situations.  So maybe I should hide inside my mind, a world where I can be me and happy, a world where judgmental people do not exist, I laugh to myself, yes that must definitely be a made up world.  That just doesn’t exist nowadays.  So what have I accomplished by jotting down on paper the thoughts that pressure my mind.  I now realize that I just may have a touch of insanity lurking somewhere.  Finding peace of mind is like climbing a muddy cliff in the rain.  Will I ever reach the top? Will I ever feel the sun shine on my face?   Darkness looms near, stretching over my mind as the clouds would cover a city during a tornado.  Is there not anywhere I can hide? Or should I face the darkness bravely as a warrior would in battle.  I am armed and ready to go into battle, no matter if I may be the victor does not matter.  What matters is that I had courage to bravely, go out into the storm ready to defend and reclaim my peace of mind.

Left In Smoke

I sat there staring at the lines on my paper trying to figure out what to say to her. It had been 3 months since the night she stormed out of what used to be “our” house, never to be seen or heard from again.  I tried calling, texting , emailing, no matter what there was never a response.  It was hard for me to admit that I had fucked up, Nicole had been there for me from day 1, she was the true definition of how a down ass bitch should be.  But I should have been straight up with her from the start.  I wasn’t really ready for a relationship, well I hadn’t been.  From the moment I saw her, I knew I had to have her.  After a few dates I knew she was looking for something serious and I wasn’t but that didn’t stop me from making her my chick.  I figured having a main chick might not be so bad.  As it turned out, it wasn’t bad at all, after 6 months she moved into my crib, and even then it was cool, shorty cooked, cleaned, kept a nigga comfortable.  One weekend she had to leave town, she did hair and there was a big hair show going on in ATL that she wanted to go to, yea she invited me , but I told her to do her thang.  I had my niggas come thru that night, and now that I look back that’s where it all went downhill. 

“Man you tripping, you let yo gal go to the A by herself, for the weekend? Nigga is you crazy?” Donnie yelled as he slammed a domino on the table.

“Yea, why wouldn’t I?” I didn’t see what the big deal was.

“Aight nigga, yo ass up here chilling with ya boys while ya chick is in the A getting her back beat in by some stud.” 

Everybody started laughing , but the shit hit a nerve.  “Nigga I’m Smoke, I got that ass on lock nigga. I aint worried about her going nowhere or fucking no other nigga.”

“Well when she get back and you fall in her pussy don’t say we didn’t warn you.”

These niggas was sick, I aint never had to worry about no bitch leaving me for some other nigga.  At 5’10, 180lbs of pure muscle, dark chocolate complexion, long braids that stopped in the middle of my back, I never had to chase females, hoes practically fell in my lap a dime a dozen.

“Well my nig, we about to burn out, we hitting up Ecstasy tonight.  You know you can roll with us, but you probably want to sit up and cuddle with yaself and watch lifetime”

“Fuck Ya’ll Niggas! I’ll roll.”

Worst mistake I ever made.  As soon as we stepped in the club I saw 5 chicks standing at the bar that I used to fuck with, that wasn’t a good sign at all.  After checking out the scene on the main side of the club we headed to VIP to get drinks and post up.

“Well hello stranger, long time no see.”

I recognize dher voice before I even turned around.  Nikala Harris stood 5’5, 36-24-36, caramel complexion, with an ass that would make you drool. The bitch was bad, and she knew it.

“Hey Nik, How you been?” I muttered out.

“How have I been? Is that all I get after all this time.” 

She wrapped her arms around my neck and begin to kiss me that’s when I seen Cherie my gals best friend out the corner of my eye. Fuck! Strike 1!

As I pushed her back I told her.  “I got a chick now Nik, I’m just here to have a good time.”

“Baby you know I always show you a good time.”  That’s when her hand slipped down my pants.

“Nik!”

“So you telling me that the great Smoke is going to pass up this good pussy just because you got a gal? When has that ever stopped you?”

Five minutes later I was getting in her car, Ten minutes later we were pulling up to her condo, and Two minutes later I had her up against the wall taking that dick.  I fucked her from the wall, to the floor, on the couch, we almost knocked her 71 inch TV over.  Sex with Nik was always fire, just when I thought she couldn’t get any freakier, she always blew my mind with some new shit.  Once she was sleep I called a cab to make my way back to the crib.  I knew I should’ve drove , but hey it was all good.  Thoughts of Nicole were on repeat in my head.  Any other time I cheated in the past I had been Gucci, but on my way home its like a feeling came over me, I felt sick to my stomach, I couldn’t get her off my mind.  Maybe it was time for me to just chill.  Nicole kept me happy.  When I was with her no other woman even existed.  Damn, had I fallen in love with this chick?  I spent the next two days chilling in the house, thinking and smoking.  Nicole couldn’t find out about Friday night.  It was to late to say that I shouldn’t have done it, but I knew it would never happen again.  Nicole’ flight was expected in later this evening.  I made sure the house was spotless, and I had made plans for the two of us that would be a homecoming she would always remember.  I pulled up to the airport just as my phone rang.

“Hello.”

“Hey sexy. How are you?”

“Who is this?” This couldn’t be Nik, how the hell did she get my number.

“Oh so you don’t know my voice now daddy?”

“Nikala?”

“Duh! Who else would it be?”

“Look I told you I had a chick.  Friday night was nice, but im good on you.”  I tried to put it as nice as possible.

“What the fuck you mean it was nice, nigga this is the best pussy you ever had.  You think you can just fuck me when you want and dip the fuck off.  You got me fucked up!”

“Bitch are you serious?  I see you in the club after a year and you let me smash again what the fuck?  You act like a hoe, you get treated like a hoe!”

“Fuck you Smoke!  This wont be the last time you hear from me.”

“But Friday night was your last night getting this dick!”  I hung up as she started screaming and yelling threats.  Nik was not the type that heard “No” a lot , so when she did hear it, she went into Bitch Mode.

When I looked up I saw my baby making her way to the car.  I hurried to get out and help her with her bags.  She kissed me before I could do anything. 

“I missed you love, you didn’t starve without me here did you?”  She asked as she started to laugh.

“No I didn’t , I did just fine without your cooking skills ma’am.”  I said as I put her bags in the truck.

Her phone started ringing as we pulled off.

“I bet that this is Cherie again, she’s been blowing up my phone all weekend. But I was to busy to return her call.”

I reached over and grabbed her phone and sent it to voicemail.  “Babe you just got back, can we at least spend this night uninterrupted?”

She looked over at me and smiled.  Damn she was gorgeous when she smiled.  “Yes baby, that’s fine.”  She said as she reached over and turned her phone off and dropped it in her purse.

I took her out to eat at one of the best seafood restaurants in the city.  Followed up by some drinks and rounds of darts at her favorite bar.  Then we ended up at the presidential suite I had reserved for us, with a Jacuzzi in the bedroom.  I made love to her all night, I had to pat myself on the back , the Jacuzzi was the best idea.  I sat her on the edge with her legs dangling in the water and sucked her pussy until she squirted in my mouth, then I let her drop down in the water right on top of my dick.  She screamed so loud I was sure we would get kicked out of the hotel.  But at that point as long as we both got off I wouldn’t have even gave a fuck.  I woke her up so we could leave the hotel, I had to be at work at nine and she was off , so I had her drop me off at work and I told her I would get a ride from one of my coworkers.

Love will make you do crazy things, but jealousy will make you become deranged.  My phone started ringing around two, it was one of my boys so I didn’t answer, I mean I was at work.  But after the twentieth  missed called I decided to go into the break room and answer the phone.

“Smoke you gotta get to the crib it’s a fire in front of your shit!” Donnie yelled

“Donnie what you mean a fire in front of my house, is my house on fire?”  I was already putting my jacket on and clocking out.

“Dawg I’m saying just get to ya crib asap!”

When I pulled up the house the fire department was putting the fire out on my front lawn.  They questioned me about what happened but I told them I was at work and I had gotten a call about the fire.  I walked up to the ashes and bent down to realize the ashes were from pictures, cards and stuffed animals.  I ran in the house and heard loud fucking coming from the bedroom, I ran into the bedroom to see my worst nightmare.  The sound of fucking was coming from the Tv, but it wasn’t just any porno, it was Nik and I from Friday night.  The little bitch had recorded the whole damn session.  I looked on top of the dvd to see an envelope addressed to “Smokes Blind Girlfriend”.  It was also pictures in the envelope of where she had kissed me at the club, and of us walking out together. 

There wasn’t  a single trace of Nicole left in my house, not a toothbrush, a scarf, not a dirty sock, absolutely nothing.  I called her phone, the number was changed.  I emailed her, and my messages were bounced back to me.

So here I sit staring at these lines trying to figure out what to write to her, my last and only hope is that maybe she’ll get the letter when she stops by her moms house to get her mail.

I had a woman who was down for me, she had my back, she took care of me when a nigga didn’t have nobody else, and I let a piece of ass tear apart everything I had.  I managed to salvage a picture of us together from the fire, and unless she ever responds that’s all ill ever have left besides memories.  I think she was trying to be funny the way she left me, but the great Smoke was always known for getting any bitch I desired.  But Nicole made sure she left my life in smoke, the baddest magician I ever met.